


midnight marmalade

by waveydnp



Series: tumblr prompts [8]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 01:45:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17274752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: prompt: “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too” “You’re getting crumbs on my bed!”





	midnight marmalade

Dan’s eyes crack open against the harsh glare of Phil’s phone over on the right side of the bed. There’s no other light in the room, so he reckons in his half asleep brain that it must still be nighttime. He’s immediately pissed off at having been woken up given how hard it’s been lately for him to fall asleep.

But something is moving around in the bed next to him, rustling against the sheets in a distinctly annoying way. It couldn’t actually be Phil, could it? He wouldn’t be pissing about over there at the asscrack of… not even dawn yet? Not when he knows how precious little sleep Dan’s been able to get over the past few weeks amid the stress of their impending tour?

Dan kicks out a leg in Phil’s direction, none too gently and makes contact with something satisfyingly bony.

“Ow.” Phil’s voice is curiously garbled.

Dan’s too tired to care why. He rolls over to face away and shuts his eyes. “Stop moving about, bitch, I’m try’na sleep.”

“Sorry.” He sounds so small and sweet, and maybe actually genuinely sorry.

Dan almost feels guilty, until he shuffles over to cuddle up against Phil’s hip and feels little scratchy bits of something against his bare arm. He opens his eyes and looks up and a wave of intrusive homicidal thoughts invades his every thought when he see Phil’s face, lit up in harsh black and whites by his Phone’s screen on full brightness and shoving toast into his face.

Toast. In bed. In the middle of the bloody night. It’s so ludicrous he briefly considers the possibility that it’s a nightmare.

“Phil, what the actual fuck.”

“What? I stopped moving.”

“You’re eating fucking toast!” Dan shouts.

Phil looks like a deer in the headlights. Dan might laugh if he weren’t fully ready to commit murder.

“I got hungry!” Phil says defensively, voice pitching up. “I’m always so hungry on the days we do boxing.”

“You could’ve eaten at the kitchen table like a normal person! Or even the sofa, for fuck’s sake.”

“It’s a midnight snack,” Phil says pathetically, like that excuses triggering Dan’s messy bed phobia and waking him up all in one go.

Dan cranes his neck up to get a look at the clock on the bedside table. “It’s fucking half three.”

“Still. It’s the spirit of the midnight snack. There are rules-”

Dan interrupts what’s sure to be a long-winded story about weird Lester traditions handed down from generations about the rules of early morning sustenance by pushing him right to the edge of the bed with one well placed foot. “Out.”

“What?” Phil’s gripping Dan’s leg to keep from toppling to the floor.

“Get out,” Dan says, his voice deadly calm and cold as ice. “You’re getting crumbs in my bed.”

“You can’t banish me. This is my bed too!”

“It’s not,” Dan says, digging his toes into Phil’s thigh. “Not anymore. It’s not your bed again until you hoover these fucking crumbs and beg my forgiveness.”

“You want me to hoover in the middle of the night?”

“Nope. I want you out of my bed so I can get back to sleep.”

“Dan.” Phil makes those infamous puppy eyes and pouts his lip. Dan usually finds it cute. Tonight it just strengthens his resolve.

“Beg or fuck off.”

Phil puts his now empty plate on his nightstand and grabs onto Dan’s leg with both hands. “Please. Please don’t kick me out of bed.”

“I said beg for forgiveness, not mercy.”

“It’s not a big-”

“Beg,” Dan commands.

Phil rolls his eyes. “Please forgive me. Please. I am scum. I am unworthy but I ask anyway.”

“You are,” Dan agrees. “You are unworthy. You deserve to sleep in the AmazingPhil bed.”

Phil nods. “I do. But you wouldn’t do that to me. Not even you could be that cruel.”

“Sure about that?”

Somehow Phil manages to wrestle his way off the edge of the bed and on top of Dan’s body. Dan yelps as Phil pins him down with surprising strength. Turns out all this working out is actually paying off.

“Oi, usurper,” Dan grunts. “Mutiny carries a stiff penalty.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Phil’s grinning from ear to ear at his victory.

“Breakfast in bed tomorrow morning,” Dan says, trying to free his arms from Phil’s grip and honestly kind of perversely loving it when he can’t. “Or a blowjob right now.”

“If I choose blowjob do I still have to hoover tomorrow?”

Dan actually laughs. “Good god, man. Your laziness really is boundless, innit?”

“Yes, but that doesn’t actually answer my question.”

Dan bites his lip and pretends to consider his options. Truth be told he’s already got a semi and the urge to sink his teeth into Phil’s shoulder. “You have to swallow.”

Phil scrunches up his face. “You really know how to charm a guy.”

Dan grins. “Don’t need charm, just your childish aversion to household chores.”

Phil shimmies down Dan’s body with an eagerness that completely obliterates any facade of resistance he’d managed to create. He doesn’t waste any time once he’s down there, either, yanking down Dan’s pj bottoms and getting right to it.

Dan’s still chuckling as he reaches down to feel himself against Phil’s cheek. “You know you could’ve just chosen the breakfast in bed option.”


End file.
